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Wednesday 26 June 2013

Conspiracy Theory? Laugh all you want - it really happended this way!

Bernanke: Mr. President, you should start doing something about the economy you are almost half-way through your 2-nd term.

Obama: I am aware of that Chairman Bernanke, thanks for your concern for the American people.

Bernanke: I am concerned monetary policy can only do so much.  We can’t print to eternity

Obama: Hang in there buddy.

Bernanke: Look I am worried how I would go down in history, I don’t want to be stuck with the title: Helicopter Ben.

Obama: These damn Republicans if they can only agree to listen to my Keynesians policy everything would be fine – instead they are talking about debt ceiling and automatic cuts.  You got to hang in there for me - give me time.  I have created this behemoth information gathering department - it needs time to hire the right people.  I’ll make sure the press will take good care of you after you step down.
Bernanke: It’s not just that, you know we have to do something right, this financial repression on the 99% is not really fair.

Obama: All for the common good you shall see eventually.
Bernanke: Even my troops have been increasingly hawkish, I have to listen to their counsel, there are some signs that the housing market and stock market is way ahead of fundamentals.

Obama: Isn’t that good? I mean the American people feel richer.

Bernanke: Not really…I think…you see…er…(cut off)

Obama: Look I understand your concerns - not telling you how to do your job.  I’m an academic in public service at heart – just like you with no real business experience.  That is why I have a whole bunch of wall street buddies as advisors – they have real business expertise – they tell me that we need to make sure we have a strong financial services sector so that they can begin the process of allocating capital efficiently to the sectors that need it most.  For now it is wall street that needs healing, that needs the American people behind it.  They need to become strong again so that they can lend again.

Bernanke: Look Mr. President with all due respect, I think the banks are strong enough, giving them too much is only going to create a moral hazard.  We need to prepare the market that eventually we need to reduce our quantitative easing programme.

Obama: Ben, Ben, that would not look good for me, I want to go out with a bang.  I want to be the president who saved the economy.  The American people is expecting the unemployment numbers to come down, the stock market to go up and the housing market is stronger than when that Texan was in my seat.

Bernanke: Look Mr. President, the numbers are good enough, you’ll look good either way.  The market is expecting it anyway and I can go peacefully without any silly names tagging along.

Obama: OK. Bernanke, don’t say I did not warn you.  I think you made a mistake.

Bernanke: Pardon?

Obama: Got to go, NSA is calling.  Talk later.

A few days later…after the congressional testimony.

Obama: Chairman Bernanke what was all that about?

Bernanke:  Well...I made a guarded comment...and it is only a tiny...comment that should things be on track..., we might consider tapering.  There were loads of caveats and ifs and buts.

Obama: You seen the US dollar? You seen gold prices? You seen the stock market?  And I just got off the phone with President Xi of China - he is furious bond prices are down.  Are you aware of all the havoc it is causing?

Bernanke: Yes.  I wouldn't be that dramatic Mr. President. 

Obama: I thought after years in Washington you’d learn how to speak like a politician.  It’s too strong.  Make me look bad if the economy tanks.  Don’t commit – your language needs to be more vague.

Bernanke: It won’t sir, I assure you I left the door wide opened.

A few days later…after Charlie Rose

Bernanke: Mr. President, the press said that you just fired me.

Obama: Whoa buddy, they are taking it out of context.

Bernanke: How should I read it?

Obama: You are leaving next year right?

Bernanke: Well yes, but Mr. President you don’t have to air it out on national TV…so soon.

Obama: Ben, don’t worry, I know you have worked really hard over the past few years.  You deserve a rest.

Bernanke: I do. But... (cut-off)

Obama: Look Ben I got to go, Snowden just spilled the beans on me.  I am keeping unemployment low by hiring a bunch of high school drop outs through NSA and they don’t appreciate it.  Talk later.  
Hang Up.

A few days later...
Chairman Ben S. Bernanke said June 19 the Fed may cut its $85 billion in monthly bond buying this year and end it around mid-2014 if the economy grows in line with the central bank’s forecast. His comments pushed down stocks and bonds. Since the day before his remarks the Standard & Poor’s 500 Index has fallen 3.9 percent, while the yield on the 10-year Treasury note has risen to an intra-day high of 2.66 percent from 2.19 percent.  - Bloomberg.

Obama: Chairman Bernanke, let me dispense with the niceties.  You know I have NSA, CIA, FBI, military drones all reporting to me.  So keep up the kool-aid.
Hang Up.

Gross domestic product expanded at a revised 1.8 percent annualized rate from January through March, down from prior estimate of 2.4 percent, figures from the Commerce Department showed today in Washington - Bloomberg (2013/26/06)

Federal Reserve Bank of Richmond President Jeffrey Lacker said he expects “a couple more years of sluggish growth” and that the central bank isn’t close to reducing its bond holdings. - Bloomberg.
The stock market is up two days in a row.

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